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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Difference between love and sex



The difference between sex, super sex and love... good one...
Girl asks her mother: What is sex?

Mother: Sex is when you stop a car driven by a man who offers you a meal in a restaurant, and then you spend some time with him in the hotel room, have sex with him once, and then each one go on his way and you have a hundred dollars bill extra in your pocket.

Then the girl asks her mother: What is Super Sex?

Mother: Super sex is when you stop a limousine driven by Chauffeur and a stylish man is sitting in the back who takes you to a luxurious villa, gives you a scrumptious meal with distinctive Caviar...and then you spend the night together in bed and engage in sex more than once, and then you part with an envelope containing a thousand dollars in your pocket.

And then the girl asks her mother: What is love?

Mother: Love is a lie invented by men so that they can have sex with you for free.




Saturday, July 30, 2011

A story with a clear moral - especially for youngsters

A story with a clear moral - especially for youngsters !
This is a story about A Fly, a Fish, a Bear, a Hunter, a Mouse and a Cat. There is a clear moral to this story, for all youngsters at the end ......
In the dead of summer a fly was resting among leaves, beside a stream. The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular ......Gosh ...... If I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed !

                   

There was a fish in the water thinking ...... Gosh ...... If that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him !
               

There was a bear on the shore thinking ...... Gosh ...... If that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly and I will grab the fish !
                      
It also happened that a hunter was further up the bank of the lake, preparing to eat a cheese sandwich ...... Gosh ...... He thought ......
                 

If that fly goes down three inches ...... And that fish leaps for it ...... That bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch !

Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one river bank. But I can tell you there's more ......

A little mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking ...... Gosh ...... If that fly goes down three inches ...... And that fish jumps for that fly ...... That bear grabs for that fish ...... The dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich !

              

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought ...... Gosh ...... If that fly goes down three inches ...... And that fish jumps for that fly ...... And that bear grabs for that fish ...... And that hunter shoots that bear ...... And that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich ...... Then I can have mouse for lunch !

         

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water ...

The fish swallows the fly ......
The bear grabs the fish ......
                                                            
          


The hunter shoots the bear .....
 
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich ......

                 


The cat jumps for the mouse ......

The mouse ducks ......

The cat falls into the water and drowns ......

Now, let us understand the clear Moral of this story ......

Whenever a fly goes down three inches ...... Some " pussy " is going to be in serious danger !!!

      


You did not see that coming, did you ?